


Reylo College AU

by Bethanen



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Dorms, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Highschool AU, Slow Build, Slow Burn, eventual hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:38:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5612521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bethanen/pseuds/Bethanen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren seems to have a pretty good grip on his life on campus.<br/>His sporadic outbursts only happen when he's under a substantial amount of mental strain.<br/>But when a new student moves into the dorms, he suddenly can't seem to keep things under control and back in order.<br/>She's too strong, but can't control it.<br/>Does she even know what she's doing?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. CHAPTER 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE FIRST CHAPTER is written entirely in Kylo first person pov, the next chapters are all outside-character pov (sorry for the confusion!)  
> Critiques about writing style, character development, situations/events,... are all very welcome.

\- Kylo -

The alarm clock in my dorm room pierces the silence. I am already awake, and quickly turn off the alarm instead of slamming the snooze button. Today is move-in day for all the freshmen at my college. I hate move-in day. It means a lot of ignorant people not able to pick up on social cues and their idiotic parents here to stand in the way all the time and bother everyone. But for me it's also the first day of my sophomore year.

I sit up in bed, not really ready to face the day until I've had a cup of coffee. After I've opened up the blinds to let in the first light of the day, I stumble over to my old coffeemaker and brew a cup of black coffee.

The air is cold on my skin but the coffee warms me from the inside. I stand by the window and peer through the tilted blinds to look at whatever's happening on the courtyard.  
I reside in a small, single dorm room. The far wall has a window as large as the wall itself, covered with dark wooden blinds.  
On the right side of the room I have a bed alongside the wall. At the foot of the bed, a dresser stands, holding my clothes. In front (and underneath) the window, next to the bed, I have a short but long bookcase that looks like it was actually meant to put a tv on top of. Maybe it is a tv case. Whatever.  
On the opposite of the bed-and-dresser wall, I've put a dark grey couch. It's not a massive and heavy couch, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to drag it up here in the first place. It's like a lounge loveseat. Kind of.

Then, along the wall next to the door, I had to improvise a desk, because I kind of broke mine... by losing my temper one night. That had earned me two counseling sessions, not pretty. I had two metal trestles supporting a simple, white board. On top of my makeshift desk, I had placed my computer. Right now, a mess of papers and notes crowded the tabletop.

This is my dorm. As of now, the light from the rising sun is giving my dorm a pale glow, giving me a feeling of peace as time seems to be suspended for a moment in a vacuum of silence. I can literally feel my own blood flow and lose warmth to the colder air of the room as it rushes under my skin. I can sense the dust of my sheets settling back onto the spread. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up because of how aware I am of it all.  
This moment, however, is ended abruptly as people run by my door the hallway, the wheels of suitcases reverberating through the floor.

I sigh, best get on with it, then.  
I stand in front of my dresser and pull out underwear, a pair of pants, a black t-shirt and a hoodie.  
I take the bundle to my bathroom, take a quick shower and get dressed. Good thing I have my own bathroom, however small it may be.  
My reflection shows my unruly black hair. I run a hand through it to smooth it back a little.

My timetable shows me I have psychology until noon, then after that I have two hours of English literature, so, a pretty short day.  
I'm a psychology major, so a lot of sitting, listening and sometimes debating, if the class is up for it.  
I grab my notebook, textbook, my ipod and earbuds and head out the door. Immediately after locking my door, I'm met with a wave of irritation at the loud freshmen moving into their dorms.  
My hallway was pretty quiet, not a lot of students wanted to move into the fourth level of the eastern wing (my hallway) because of me having a slip in losing my temper.  
I don't feel like thinking about it. That must've changed though, as there are many freshmen here now.

As I near the end of the hallway, I encounter a girl moving into a single dorm room. She has a lot less luggage than the other freshmen.  
One small and one medium sized suitcase stand next to her door as she tries to open the lock to her room.  
I start to walk past her, but as soon as I get close, all the hairs on my arms and neck stand up straight.  
A shiver rolls down my spine as I sense a shift in energy in this particular part of the hallway. I slow down a bit.  
The girl stops fidgeting with the lock and drops her keys. She starts to turn her head, but by the time she does, I'm already gone.  
She must have sensed it too.

As the seconds seem to crawl on, the teacher keeps droning on about conditioning of behavior to children. Something so easy to understand I can't even pay attention if I tried.  
I keep feeling uneasy. The whole time I have to un-tense muscles I didn't know were tensing up.  
Goosebumps riddle my arms and back and the hairs on my neck keep standing up straight.  
It feels like it's caused by that same shift in energy surrounding that girl from this morning. I just can't shake it off, that's how powerful it was. 

As soon as the teacher has finished his droning of the first class I had for my sophomore year, I pack up my bag and slam out of the doors into the courtyard.  
I can feel some of the tension dropping off my shoulders as I move further outside. I take a seat at a picnic table near a giant oak tree on the far side of the courtyard and take out my notebook.  
A few blank papers are folded next to the spiral binding of the notebook, in case I felt like drawing.  
I smooth out one of them, take out a pencil and draw faces. Faces I see today, faces I don't know. It doesn't matter,  
I just need the muscle memory keeping me busy to shake of some of the remaining oddness from under my skin. 

At some point, nearing a point where my paper is almost completely filled, I realize I've drawn the surprised likeness of the girl from this morning.  
I quickly fold the paper up and stow it between my notebook again, which I put back into my bag.  
Now I just bite at the inside of my cheek.

This was seriously starting to freak me out. I've always known I was a bit more sensitive to everything around me than other people.  
Things would happen, and I would've seen them happening in an idle daydream. I could feel, or sense, the smallest of things moving.  
One time, during winter, I nearly went crazy from the crackly scraping little noises snowflakes made as their icy structures collided with one another.  
If someone is thinking very intensely about something, and I concentrate, I can sense what they're thinking. Sometimes that translates into images.  
The desk situation occurred when I could sense what everyone was doing or thinking about at the time,  
in my little dorm room, because I had to concentrate on my homework. Back then I couldn't really differentiate concentrating for homework and concentrating to expand my senses.  
So, in a fit of blind rage to distract me from literally everything, I guess I wrecked my desk. Then the two counseling session didn't help either.  
The middle aged woman forced me to concentrate again, concentrate on “freeing my mind”, which, made a lot of room for more loud thoughts of everyone in a medium vicinity,  
and even louder footsteps, talking, eating, and everything else. After that I went to my dorm and needed some more distraction... 

And that's how I pretty much got dibs on almost half the eastern dorm wing.  
I sigh, rub my face with my hands and decide to get on with it.  
I'll just have to cope, learn to ignore the mental itching I can't scratch. I'll need to just find distractions I guess.  
I grabbed my bag and headed back to the building for my last class of the day.


	2. CHAPTER 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux comes over for dinner, because he can't cook. At all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the writing perspective to third person. Partly because I want the reader to see stuff happening between the characters, not AS the characters. And also because I don't want to make things harder than they already are :')
> 
> SORRY FOR THE WAIT.  
> However, I have intense stuff ready for the next chapter!!

 

English lit had been... interesting. The class was pretty ordinary. Analysis of the classics and explanations of how the messages in them were appropriate for the timeframe in which they took place. The teacher had made a few mistakes in the details of particular piece that was very known to one student.  
The student raised his hand a couple of times to arrogantly correct the teacher. Every time the student was allowed to speak, Kylo's skin prickled with secondhand irritation from the teacher. The tendrils of emotions hanging in the air would quiver and tense up and even creak against one another. It took a great deal of effort from Kylo to keep quiet himself, instead of strongly requesting him to shut the hell up.

A faint buzzing emitted from Kylo's jacket. He reached behind him to fish out his cellphone. Hux.

“ _Dinner still on for tonight? I'm starving.”_

Kylo had almost forgotten he had invited Hux for dinner at his dorm room. Or, more realistically, Hux had invited himself. Kylo knew Hux had been spoilt as a teenager, resulting in him not knowing how to cook, at all. Kylo, however, is a great cook. He hates ordering food for takeout or delivery, but he enjoyes a variety of cooking styles, so he just taught himself to replicate them as best as he could. It all came to him pretty quickly. A few searches on the internet for a particular dish, and he'd try it out. Hux knew he secretly loved cooking, so he took advantage of it.

“ _Yeah. Bring tomatoes.”_ \- He typed as a reply.

\---

In the end, he found himself almost deeply asleep on the settee, which was way too small for him to lay flat on. Not that the settee was too small, he's just ridiculously tall. He was ripped from sleep by a few knocks on the door. Kylo woke to a pounding headache that had settled behind his eyes. The dorm room was dark, he must have slept for too long after returning from his last class. The knocking came again, more persistent this time.

“I'm coming.” He groaned in response as he got up from the settee to open the door.  
Hux stood in the hallway, his hair dripping and gleaming from fresh rain, that also soaked through his coat, and left puddles on the floor.

“You look like death,” he said, as he presented him with a paper bag, also slightly soaked.  
“tomatoes.” he specified.  
Kylo frowned. “thanks, for the tomatoes. Not for your gracious compliment. Take those off before coming in,” he gestured towards Hux' dress shoes. He always _had_ to wear nice clothing. When Kylo had met him at some bar, he thought he'd just returned from a job application, or an oral exam. Turns out this is just what his wardrobe looked like. Pompous and snobby, yet he kind of worked it.

  
Hux didn't bother unlacing his shoes, he just pulled them off with the other foot and left the pair inside near the door.  
Kylo shuffled over to the kitchen and filled up a large pot with water to boil. Meanwhile, he brewed himself a cup of coffee.

-

He made best use of the tiny kitchen element he had in his dorm (read; a countertop with a camper stove, a sink and a ventilation hood.) to cook up a canneloni recipe he had found somewhere online. The recipe required him to add wine. Which resulted in an open bottle of wine, which in turn led to him being drunk. Hux didn't mind. He didn't drink, but he enjoyed the food.

“A girl moved in to the eastern dorm wing yesterday.” Kylo announced.

Hux looked up from his plate, “Oh?”

“I think she... might be like me. With my ability.” He continued, with difficulty. He was very much disturbed by his revelation himself. He didn't know that what he had could occur in other people as well. He had led an almost peaceful life, apart from a few slip-ups here and there. But with her presence bearing down on the fine weaving of consciousness he had created around himself, it put a lot of strain on him. He doubted she even knew.

Hux looked at him, abashed. “That's still going on? I thought you had it under control.”

“I do. Well, I did. But it's like she's everywhere. Her mind is so loud. I can't shut it out.” Kylo continued, the wine undoubtedly helping him.

“Strange...” Hux filled the silence that hung in the air.

“Did you hear? There was a fire in the south workshop.” He changed the subject.

“hmm. No, haven't heard.” Kylo's eyes were slightly glassy. His food remained partly untouched.

“You have anything to do with it?” Hux eyed him over the brim of his glass.

“Christ, I'm not an arsonist,” He spat back. “Besides, I've got better places to be than that noisy hellhole.”

The workshop was where all robotic and flight engineering students got to build and test their electrical or otherwise mechanical monstrosities. It was the 'highlight' of campus, as it attracted a lot of new students to enroll.

Kylo sensed Hux' nervousness over his temper. Lucky for him, he was too tired to go on a rant. A drunk shiver rolled over his spine.

“oookay, I take that as my cue to leave.” Hux started to realise he shouldn't overstay his welcome, he didn't wish to disturn him any further. He also realised an unease resting on his face and limbs. It was like a tiny sheet of stress was wrapped around him, his movements more stiff that usual.

Kylo replied with an almost apologetic smile. Hux got up and took their plates to the kitchen. “Thanks for dinner.” he stiffly said, then left.

Kylo again, remained slumped in the settee. He appreciated Hux knowing how he functioned on a daily basis, his need for solitude often prominently present when they hung out.  
Their friendship was a companionship based upon mutual need. Kylo needed to not be completely alone and often needed second opinions. Even though he never asked for one. Hux needed for someone to teach him all the things in life he never got from his parents, though he was a slow learner. Especially with cooking.

The alarm clock on his nightstand read 21:37, so it was still pretty early. With a sigh, he got up from the settee, and proceeded to fill up the sink to do the dishes.

 


	3. CHAPTER 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MORE WEIRD ANGST- actually I don't even know how to categorize this stuff anymore.

A week had passed.

Kylo had went tot every single class on his schedule. He made his assignments and essays with fervent effort. But he did so absentmindedly, it wasn't because he wanted to improve or be on top again, as he once was. It was more so that he needed a sense of distraction.

The new girl, - of whom Hux had discovered her name, _Rey_ – shared a philosofy class with him. He also discovered she was one of the students who enjoyed the noisy mess that is the mechanics workshop.

This class he had to miss a few times. He dreaded coming because of the blaring static and taught-spun tendrils that hung in the air and surrounded the new girl.

It came very easy for Kylo to shut out all the voices, emotions and thoughts of other people surrounding him. But he wasn't able to shut her out. It was all too much. She could sense the other people surrounding her very strongly, and because her ability was very prominent, all these voices were amplified back to him again.

She could see her strain under this as well. Sometimes, she had to leave class because of it all. Her eyes would be almost closed in a grimace as she'd walk out the auditorium. All the static playing in her head felt to him like a loud engine, of which he knew that ,close by in her own brain, it would be deafening. He felt the secondhand pain so pronounced, it gave him splitting headaches.

It kept them both up at night. The only way Kylo could push aside the constant whirlpool of her mind a little, was to go all the way to the top floor of the eastern dorm wing. There he'd remove an unlocked padlock from a door latch, and step out into the night. Up on the roof, the cold breeze would create a slight barrier of distraction from the noise. He'd still hear her, but it would be more like an underwater sensation.  
It could sound like an afterburn of fireworks, or like droplets of water sizzling on a hot stove. At times it could compare to the engine of a fighter jet.

One time, he took his ipod and went to the roof, and listened to some soundtracks from movies. The rain had woken him, three hours after, at four in the morning. He got up with a start, and jogged back to the roof door. Glad to be out of the rain, he walked down the halls a bit, and after a while he decided to return to his dorm. As he quickly rounded a corner, something abruptly smacked into him. Although he hadn't hit him there, a searing pain went through his head. He looked up, and saw the new girl, Rey, on the floor. She had tousled hair, and a few grease marks on her arms and beige tank top. She must've just returned from the workshop. _At this hour?_ He thought.

The girl's eyes went wide.

_It's you,_ her mind pronounced so loud Kylo heard.

She had increasingly more trouble shutting everyone out since Kylo Ren walked by on move-in day. That had been some sort of trigger for her mind. It threw her ability right over the edge of control. Now their chance encounters only worsened the situation.

“Oh, I'm so sorry” she scrambled up as she realized how strange the encounter was.

“Watch where you're going.” He spat back as he got up himself. She threw him a shocked look.

For a moment, because of their proximity, a loud frequency pierced his brain.

It was like a white-hot knife ripped apart the fine weaving of tendrils all around them. The glow emanating from her. A grunt of pain escaped him, as he clamped his hands over his ears, and half-dropped to his knees. His eyes forced shut, under the unbearable shrieking. A horrified look crossed her face as she leapt back. _“God”,_ he groaned. He picked himself up, steadying himself on the wall. He threw her another look and then stumbled back to his dorm.

That night was the most difficult for her. Kylo had taken off his wet clothes and instantly slumped on the bed. All the rigidness was thrown off of his body the moment he slipped into subconsciousness, too exhausted to be bothered by her.

Underneath Rey's skin, it felt like an entire colony of fire ants had taken over. Itching and burning all night long. All pulsating and starting from the back of her head. _What's happening to me?_

She was terrified.

 


	4. CHAPTER 4

The next day, she wakes up, the pain not fully subsided. It still pulsated in the back of her head. Her dorm room is submerged in the light of the morning sun.

There wasn't much stuff in her room. The only furniture present when she moved in was a single white bed frame, and a white table. The walls were a light gray and the floor was a simple darker gray vinyl.

A week before move-in day, she had brought some cheap furniture from Ikea. Only the bare necessities. A black chair, a white night stand, a dresser and a tiny shelf for a few books and equipment she had to bring. The table was littered with schematics for her mechanics classes. Next to her nightstand, a record player rested on the floor. One of her prized possessions, though she didn't have a proper place for it yet. The floor would do for now. Her records leaned against a small shelf. The tiny shelf proved to be almost too small, as it creaked under the weight of a large cardboard box brimming with old scrap metal she rescued from the junker. A few books leaned against the box, but only course material, like maths, applied physics and philosophy. The latter was her elective course. She hadn't had the chance to get some simple fiction books for her shelf yet. High fantasy novels were her favorite. The stories where the character has the power to go anywhere they want, and see the world, enthrall her.

Rey had always been pretty much stuck in one place. She couldn't reminisce over parents, because hers had given her to an orphanage. It wasn't as sad as it may seem, the orphanage was okay, and then she got placed in a host family. They were nice, although a bit distant over time.

The clothing she'd brought with her were stacked neatly in a dresser. Most of it was thrifted, seeing as she cared minimally if the clothes she worn were in style or not.

Right before move-in day, she couldn't help herself and got a set of potted succulants and cacti for her windowsill, a beige throw blanket for her desk chair, a thick black bedspread and a small bedside lamp. She was glad she did.

Rey pushed herself up by her elbows and got up.

After brushing her teeth and smoothing back her hair in a bun, she made herself a bowl of oatmeal in the tiny kitchenette.

_Today might be better than yesterday,_ she thought to herself. Her favorite class would start in an hour. Where she'd see Finn again, and she got to work on her prototype of a gyroscopic droid. Mechanics, in the workshop, south on campus.

Finn had been nice to her on her first day. He recognized the anxiety of a first-day college-goer in her, that he also experienced on his first day.

So, he had shown her where to find what. The library, the dorms, the football field – where he would have practice -, and all the class buildings.

There was a lake, at the edge of campus, where the row and swim team would hold practice. Finn hadn't shown her this, because it was too far to walk to during their short breaks. But she had walked over once, after class, after the strain of too many voices became too great.

As she looked over the schematics of her droid, she remembered the events of last night. Her brow furrowed. She still didn't understand what had happened. But she did notice something had changed.

She noticed little things. How there was always microscopic residue of paper fibres on her fingers after she touched the paper schematic. How her oatmeal tasted much richer. The honey in it a stronger aftertaste that left her feeling warm and fulfilled. She noticed the cool air from the window meeting the heated air from the radiator. How this formed little dew drops on the windowsill. Something within her told her that the plants on the windowsill needed to be moved, because the hot-cold air fusion disturbed their photosynthesis.

_What in the world am I thinking,_ She realized after she moved the plants to her table. Her eyes widened in disbelief when she heard a sharp crackle, only to realize it was the sound of baseball practice taking place outside her dorm window. The ball would crackle under the slamming pressure of a wooden baseball bat. Her window was closed. _How could she hear that?_

She left the eastern dorm wing with confusion, as the world around her seemed to be slowed down a fraction. As everything seemed to happen around her with doubled intensity. Her environment was packed with much more to see, and to _sense._ It even seemed as if her peripheral vision was a bit wider.  
Her newfound revelation caused her to be late to mechanics class. Her classmates had already started their projects as she walked in. She apologized for her tardiness and took a seat next to Finn. Could she tell him what's going on?

Finn looked up from his wiring, “Morning sunshine, you look quite beat up, no offense.” He jokingly said.

“Yeah, I pretty much feel like it too. Barely got any sleep last night.” Rey took out her folded up schematics and a few parts she needed to precision-weld together.

A look of subtle worry crossed his face.

“It's just some stress, I guess. It'll go away after some deadlines I have.” She quickly added. _Please don't worry,_ she thought.

The rest of the day passed slowly, much to Rey chagrin, as she got more and more exhausted from everything _happening_ so much. Finn had asked her for help with his wiring, and Rey was all too happy to oblige. A distraction was very welcome today. At noon, she returned to her dorm to lay on her bed for a while and stuff some breadrolls in her face. She didn't realize how hungry she was. After the rolls came an orange, and then a bowl of leftover rice from yesterday. She ate until she felt stuffed, then got up again to go to her last class of the day, maths. Maths came pretty easily to her, if she focused enough. When the teacher was going over another difficult theorem, she discovered a newfound clarity in the teachings. Not that maths made everything clearer for her, but that whatever made her sense everything _more_ , also made a sort of pathway for logic in her mind.

However, when the more difficult exercises arose their heads in the textbook, her increased focus also amplified the incessant noise again. Garbled language poured over her as the other students concentrated. Their thoughts weighing down heavily on the fragile tendrils of her subconscious. With much strain, she got through it eventually and headed back to her dorm. She couldn't fathom what it must be like to go through a class like that with the guy she bumped into the other day. If he was close, the strain was unbearable to her. It's comparable to when you touch the antenna of a badly tuned radio, in between a talkshow and a game station of a bad frequency.

_I must be low on food,_ the though crossed her mind. She decided on stopping by her dorm, then going over to the grocery store on her salvaged old bicycle. One day, her dream was to fix up an old motorcycle. Or at least a dirt bike. Those things looked like fun.  
After shopping, her evening was pretty bland. Some homework, because she actually did have a few deadlines coming up. Keeping up her focus for a short while actually seemed almost impossible for some reason. Then she remembered, that _guy_ must live in the eastern wing as well.  
Irritation slowly turned to anger. This all started when she ran into _him._ What did he do to her?

When she was no longer able to concentrate on her maths textbook, she snatched the denim jacket off her chair and took off to the only place she visited on her own, apart from her dorm room. The lake.  
The walk did nothing to soothe her. Every sense of her was brittle and coarse. Every edge of her subconscious chafed raw. By now she should be desensitized to all the newness, but it hadn't subsided at all. When she arrived at the bank of the still lake, her thoughts carried her to the docks, where she dropped down in a sitting pose, centering her mind on the vast calmness of the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I like putting my characters through a lot of pain. I'm saying it now so you don't have to say it. :')  
> Bear with me, this is my first actual fanfic.   
> Also, thanks for the comments and kudos so far!!!


	5. CHAPTER 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [This chapter is a LOT of mental stuff]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of my buildup has been working up towards this chapter, which is actually a bit MORE buildup for some BETTER stuff.   
> Soooooo, I guess I'm in this for the long haul.   
> My love for slow burn is too real.

_CHAPTER 5_

Kylo had just finished cooking his dinner, when the room around him disintegrated. The dish slipped from his hands, as he was violently thrown into the subconsciousness of another. Immediately he could sense who's eyes he was watching through right now. Rey.

The feeling was altogether disturbing to him. Nothing of his own body seemed present, and all he could do was look at the vision that replaced his own. In reality his eyes were blinded.

He could see the blurry image of grass and trees. The girl crossed a field, to get to the treeline. Frustration dripped from her presence. He winced at the distant shouting, distorted by the static of her mind, amplified by the heightened senses of his own. An end came to the trees, and made way for a lake. The surface resembling a giant black slate, reflecting the cover of night. The image was less clear now. He sensed a part of the tension being relieved from her mind. A few of the threads in the tight weaving of her mind smoothed out at the edges. Then the image fell away altogether. She had closed her eyes, but hadn't let go of his presence entirely.

He was violently thrown out of the vision and back into his own reality. Staggering, and grabbing hold of his desk, he touched his upper lip, when his eyes had accustomed to the change, he saw they came away bloody. Realization dawned on him; she had to stop this. _HE_ had to stop her. If she wouldn't learn how to control her ability, it would kill her. Or him, for that matter, seeing as the power she carried in the weaving could destroy it altogether. The worst thing was, she didn't seem to realize she had to control it.

When his ability had developed itself a few years back, he had taught himself to get a grip on it. It wasn't easy, sure, but it had been necessary. The slip-ups he had could attest to that.

He didn't bother cleaning up the oven dish that thankfully hadn't broken on his floor - only upended the contents of it - as he left for the lake. He knew this was going to be the only time when she'd be alone, and away from most of the noise. As he neared the edge of the treeline, the mental scratching started again.

“Who's there?” Rey called out. Her mind sending out waves of caution.

“You need to _stop_ whatever it is you're doing.” Kylo hissed at her through his headache.

She sat on the docks, looking at him, incredulously. “huh, you're the one who's talking. This all started when you ran into me. What have you _done_ to me!?” She retorted.

By now, the agony forced his eyes shut and he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Listen, you're new to this, so let me put it simple. You need to control it, I can show you how.” He tried to convey as calmly as he could.

“What makes you think I want you to?” She demanded.

“You don't even know what you're doing. Your mind is pretty much ripping apart the Force.” He had never used that word. He only read about it once, in a book about mind control. It was pretty spot on about his ability, but he still wasn't sure if it was accurate or not, because the book walked the thin line between fiction and science.

“What is _the Force?”_ She asked in disbelief.

“Let me help you. I can teach you how to silence all the noise.” He offered.

By now Rey had gotten up from her seated position. Her mind was a booming, pulsating mess of hesitation and conflict. It was played out all over her face. It wasn't that she was intimidated by him, it just shocked her that all the events of the past week _were_ real. She wasn't imagining things. What she didn't know, was if it was bad that what she was doing was actually real, or if it was good that she realized she wasn't going insane.

“I know how hard it is. I feel it too.” By now he was just convincing her to give up her mind, not for any sort of evil agenda, but more for the better of them both. Her mind was a destructive force that needed to be reckoned with, before it would drive them both mad.

A shift in the weaving, spun taught already as it was, told him that it frightened her how his words hit home. He knew exactly what she was going through, even more so than she did.

“Don't be afraid.” he added, putting up a makeshift blockade in his mind against the thunderstorm that she emitted. It was the only way he could bear to approach her, for now. He tried to replicate the feeling of the drowned out noise he had at the top of the dorm roof. It simulated the effect pretty well. Now the simultaneous screams and static were filtered out, like he was suddenly submerged in water. Relieved that his trick worked, he took a few steps closer to her, the strain now a bit more bearable.

“Will you teach me how to shut it out?” She hesitantly asked. A hint of desperation tinged her tone. She wanted just as badly as him to be able to sleep at night. To be able to have an isolated mind, in solitude.

He nodded in return, and then took another few steps toward her.

“Sit down.” He instructed. She complied, crossing her legs on the dock.

“Have you tried quieting your mind?” This was the main problem she had to deal with at the moment, distancing her mind from the countless of others. Creating a barrier of silence, either by blocking everything else out, or elevating her mind out from the others. Neither was easy, but with a lot of time and concentration, it could be done.

It had taken Kylo months to do, but then again, he had no one to show him how.

“No,” her reply was simple, but curious. _There's a way?_ She thought.

He moved a few steps, so he was directly in front of her, then he dropped down himself, exactly mirroring her pose. They sat arms width away from each other. Her eyes were downcast, feeling a bit nervous at the sudden proximity and overall strangeness of the situation at hand. He looked at her, and concentrated on spreading his weaving of the mental block out to her.

“What are you doing?” she asked curiously, looking up at him. His eyes were fixed on hers, but it almost seemed like he was looking through her.

“Making a shield.” He murmured, careful not to move an inch, so as to not shift off center. His brows furrowed. The connection in the tendrils wasn't strong enough. He had to close off the edges of the weaving. He shifted forward a bit.

“close your eyes. Try to empty your mind. If it wanders, bring it back.” This was basic meditation for centering the mind. She complied, slowly closing her eyes, and peeking once to see he wasn't trying anything funny. He wasn't. His eyes were shut as well, but he had an arm outstretched, palm open and facing her. As she closed her eyes again and this time really concentrated on emptying her head, pushing everything worldly aside, she realized something changed. The voices, echoes and static suddenly felt distant, filtered out. She felt like that part of her mind had been submerged.

Kylo felt like he had to overcome a tidal wave, get over the head of the rushing water, only to reach the calm deep waters of her own mind. As he reached her, he had woven an extension to his filtering trick from the tendrils of her own mind. The feeling altogether alien, as he had never worked with another mind before. As the mental block was put up, he sensed more of her mind smoothing out against the newfound stillness. It wasn't fully silenced yet, but this was a world of difference for her. This must have been the quietest her mind had been in days.

She sighed.

As the shared calm continued, he had room to work on repairing the frayed edges of the weaving. She sensed him tediously separating knots in her mind that she never even knew were there.   
A few minutes could be passing, or an hour, or many hours, she couldn't tell. Her consciousness was frozen, no movement of thought passing through. She was in a full trance.

Suddenly, at the realization she couldn't escape from it, she started panicking. Her breath and heart rate picking up.

“Calm down. “ His words reached her through her mind. And all at once, she felt an almost blinding light wash over her, enveloping her in an almost paralyzing calmness. A second wave of calmness washed over her mind, this time fully returning her to her relaxed state. She realized he was doing this, sensing his work was more precise if she stayed like this.

Looking at his work, it seemed like a pretty good start. This would suffice for now. Her mind wouldn't amplify the static as much, and he created a slight separation between her and all the surrounding minds and voices.

but it stayed at a manageable level, like a beehive this time, instead of a jet engine. Relieved, he withdrew from her mind, immediately slumping in his seated position. He rubbed his eyes, and waited for her to return. After a while, she opened her eyes slowly, furrowing her brows in a confused look.

“Did you take my ability away?” She asked, almost in fear. She had almost grown accustomed to her newfound senses, and would admit she was excited to see what else she'd be able to do, once the newness of it would have worn down.

“No, I put up a shield. You'll be able to silence your mind now.” he stated. He rubbed his hands over his face, then raked them through his hair, running the tips of his fingers over his scalp. He felt like he was rubbing off the sensation of being inside another mind. It was so unusual, and being back after such a long time felt strange. After a while, he got up, and walked away from her. Exhaustion carrying him back to his dorm room.

She wanted to express her thanks. She thought part of the calmness hadn't worn off yet, but then she realized this sensation was the result of the shield he put up in her mind.

He was gone before she fully came to her senses. The cold breeze had her staying for a while, before going back to her dorm room herself.   
As she settled in between the covers of her bed, she was instantly carried off to a dreamless sleep. This was the first time since it had started she had gotten a proper night's sleep.

Kylo's good nights sleep came from his exhaustion at the mental exertion he put himself through.

 

 

 


	6. CHAPTER 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for my absence!!! I have school going on and all.  
> I'm definitely not abandoning this, I think about the story all the time, coming up with time to write it is just a little hard. 
> 
> THANKS FOR READING!

  _________

 

The next few weeks pass by in a dull routine. At first it seemed unsettling to her. Rey wasn't used to the hollow silence inside her head at first.   
A week ago, before Kylo put the shields up in her mind, she spent most of her day working around the noise. Mostly finding distractions from it.  
The newfound solitude in her mind was such a world of difference that she didn't know what to do with her freedom. 

Finn started noticing it too. 

"You seem... different. Not bad different, just... less stressed? I don't know." Her friend would say. Rey would stare back at him, thinking.

"Yeah, definitely less stress." She'd smile at not having to lie to her only friend. 

She felt happier during the daytime. After her encounter with Kylo, her new senses were also a bit numbed, which scared her at first. Day after day, they returned to her again.   
But as soon as the sun sank below the horizon, and Rey was all alone in her dorm room again, she felt terrible.   
It was like she had killed off the busy world around her. She knew she should be grateful for the shields Kylo put up for her, but as her senses returned to her, the shields started to feel stifling. Like she wore earplugs she couldn't take out. Like her mind had been dulled to a blunt edge.

Her routine was simple. Getting up in the morning and having her breakfast - depending on what she got at the store the day before - along with her coffee. She only took late morning classes. She was a morning person, IF she got to spend said mornings peacefully. Sometimes she'd go for a run around campus or tinker at her still unfinished droid. The little thing was proving to be a real challenge, but she wasn't ready to give up on it yet.

Then it's off to her classes, meeting up with Finn, lunch, more classes and then going home at around 3 PM. Schoolwork kept her busy, but not busy enough. At times, she dreaded going back so much, for fear of spending those dreadful hours alone, that she'd stay up until the early hours in the workshop, fixing whatever students deemed unfixable and left behind. 

There always remained this dreaded gap between where she'd end her schoolwork and when she'd crawl in between the covers for the night.  
It were times like these where she'd become extremely sensitive to literally anything. Her mind was trying to fill the void, like an amputee would feel an itch in a lost limb.  
She'd hear strange noises, crackling by hear ear, ticking, things buzzing,...  
One time, she swore the wind was howling, heavy with an oncoming storm, but when she'd opened her window, there wasn't even the slightest hint of a breeze.  
She'd get more sensitive to the cold, and random headaches would pester her.  
Time seemed to move slowly, but not like before. Now it was almost taken to an extreme. She'd sit around for a while, thinking an hour had passed, while in reality only ten minutes had passed. 

She shared one class with Kylo Ren, Psychology, from noon till 4 PM on Tuesdays.   
At times, she'd sense his awareness, even through the blockades. It wasn't like she  _heard_  him though. She'd feel his colors. A mix of dark grays, deep blue-blacks, stained with a searing red. She'd sense his atmosphere, like a still surface of a bottomless black lake, and she doesn't know what's swimming beneath it.

Rey contemplated confronting him for more than one reason. 

She didn't understand why he had helped her. She WAS broadcasting incessant noise, but it was only unbearable when he was closer to her, so couldn't he just avoid her?

Then it set her to thinking. He was like her, so maybe he went through the same things? Maybe he had also struggled under this invisible source of agony.

  


Shop class was almost over, so Rey started to carefully place the parts she'd been working on back in their cardboard box. Finn started packing up as well. He looked at Rey for a second, not being sure if what he was going to say would be weird or not, he decided to approach carefully, “Hey, uhh, there's this thing going on at the docks tonight, to kind of... welcome the freshmen on campus,” Rey looked surprised, as this was starting to sound like an invitation, and they both knew she hasn”t been the most sociable person around. Finn continued, “you wanna join me?” He finally asked.

This was going to be a college party. Her first college party. The whole idea in and of itself seemed kind of ridiculous, Rey going to a college party. And she wouldn't have decided to go, if Finn hadn't attacked her with the most pitiful look she'd ever seen on anyone. He didn't have anyone to go with, and it was for freshmen after all...

“Who's hosting it?” she asked, not ready to give Finn any false hopes yet.

“some seniors , one of them is a guy called Hux? Apparently he's pretty loaded, so he's paying for drinks and all that.”

Rey thought it over for a second before replying, “Fine. But only if I can leave whenever I want!”

Finns eyes lit up light a christmas tree, then he ceremoniously thanked her, promising to drop by her dorm at 8 pm to pick her up.

-

when they arrive at the party, it's more crowded than she'd expected. This party was most certainly not exclusive to only freshmen. People from every year were drinking, dancing talking, sitting,... Cheap tiki candle-torches are staked in the ground around the docks and the edge of the water. A number of teens were sitting on the docks, dangling their feet in the water. The absence of any sunlight made the water seem like black slick oil, swallowing up the legs of the students.

It was a particularly warm night, with little to no breeze. Tiny lanterns were strung up in nearby trees, and someone had brought out decent-sized speakers, from which music was playing. Not too loud, as to give away the party's location, but loud enough for everyone's enjoyment.

Red solo cups littered the moist, upturned ground. A few collapsible tables were set up with kegs and more cups.

The entirety of the party didn't strike Rey as unusual. She expected nothing more than a regular keg-party, with an occasion slapped across the title as to have a reason to hold on ein the first place. You know, to “welcome the freshmen”. What did strike Rey a bit was the fact that this party was being held right where Kylo had helped her. Seeing the secluded, peaceful place bustling with commotion just seemed... wrong.

She had come here the past few weeks to think, clear her head as she watched the wind play with the edges of the lake's water. To hear the calm creaking of the wooden docks. Now, bad music, drunken yelling and laughing broke through the serenity.

“Hey, I think I know those guys, they did like a welcoming committee thing on campus the first day.” Finn gestured towards a group of tall, semi-handsome guys, all wearing letterman jackets, despite it being 75 degrees out. The football team held a welcoming committee?

“I'm gonna say hi.” Finn said, mustering up all his courage and putting on a confident face.

Rey eyed his friend. She didn't want to be left alone here. If she was going to come along, she might need some courage herself first. “Wait, maybe we can get drinks first?” She sheepishly suggested.

Finn was already on it, a few seconds later he returned with some punch in a red cup for Rey and a can of beer for himself. “You like beer?” Rey asked. “Hell no, I'm shotgunning this.” Finn said, as he proceeded to take out one of his keys, smash a hole in the side of the can, open the top and then put the can to his lips. “You can't be serious” Rey laughed. She took a sip of her punch, watching him actually finish the beer. Finn's face contorted in what can only be pure disgust.

“you're really committing, aren't you.” Rey joked. Finn's look of disgust was replaced yet again by pure determination as they both approached the letter man jackets. One boy, with a cheerful grin plastered on his face, suddenly recognized Finn and walked up to the two, “Hey!! Glad to see some actual freshmen at this party,” He slapped him across his shoulder, “How's campus life treating you so far?” Finn visibly relaxed a bit, seemingly surprised by his friendly demeanor. “Oh, yeah, great! I recognised you from the welcoming committee.” Finn replied, struggling to rise above the volume of the speakers. Meanwhile, the other letterman jackets had separated themselves from Poe to cheer on another guy as he chugged some beverage, loudly whooping and fist-pumping. Rey Stood awkwardly beside Finn, not knowing what to do with her arms. Thank god she had a drink. She took another big swallow, and tasted a nasty kick to it. This was more spike than punch.

“Yeah, coach made us do that, we need players for the team. He kind of wants us to scope people out. I'm not supposed to say it though. Hey, maybe you could go for try-outs, if you want?”  
Finn's eyes lit up like the lanterns hanging in the trees, at first he didn't respond, just looking very excitedly from Rey back to the boy, then back to Rey again. “...Uhh Yeah! Of course! That'd be great! I mean why not? Sure!” He quickly stammered. Poe flashed a wide grin, slapping Finn on the shoulder “Great, oh and I'm Poe,” he quickly added.

 

 --------

 

 


	7. CHAPTER 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \-----------  
> I edited this chapter because I felt it was a bit rushed and I would've liked to go more in-depth with this one!   
> It's still pretty flat in my opinion, but I tried :')  
> \-----------

 

 

 

 

The music was getting louder. Finn, Poe, Rey, and some of Poe's friends had moved to some cheap folding chairs near the waterbank. Poe and Finn were busy talking about details of the tryouts and what kinds of classes they had, which apparently differed a lot. After a while, Rey started to zone out, getting up once in a while to get a drink, or just walk around.

The punch was definitely spiked. But by her fourth drink the bad aftertaste was gone. She saw some stoners lighting up a bowl, the glow lighting up their slowly closing eyes.

Yet again she plopped down in a lawn chair, hanging her head back. Finn smiled at her, “How's your first college party going?”.

Rey raised an eyebrow. “I should be asking you that question, that Poe guy seems awfully friendly towards you,” she winked. A tomato-red blush crept up Finn's neck and started blooming on his cheeks.

Rey peered over the brim of her cup as she took some slow sips. Some people were already leaving the party. What time is it? The clockface on her wristwatch read 02;28. Were she sober, she'd be panicking by now. Rey was never a night owl, so she usually went to bed early. Especially considering her morning classes.

After a few seconds of blankly staring in the distance, she became awkwardly aware she was staring directly at someone. A tall blond boy with an unfriendly face. An unfriendly face directed at her. Trying to avert the awkward semi-encounter, she got up from her chair, only to realize by now her body had become much heavier, the ground tilting and oozing towards her. She reached for the armrest and steadied herself. Maybe it would be better if she went back to her dorm, she thought. Her face felt warm and her brain felt too large for her skull. How did she get so drunk out of nowhere? It must have been the sitting. Drunkenness aside, she strode towards the path starting at the treeline to get back to the dorms. Her movements were sluggish, and it was a struggle to keep her eyes open, even as she walked. The dark didn't help.

Suddenly, a dark figure slammed into her. The drink she was still holding launched out of her hand, the contents spilling over his back. She fell backwards into some thorns off the side of the path. “Ouch,” she groaned, not daring to move. The figure got up and turned to Rey. “You know, I should be more cautious around you, this is the second time you crashed into me.” He complained. As Rey looked over her own situation in the brambles, it became quite apparent she didn't feel as much of the pain as she would've normally, were she sober. Her shorts and tshirt didn't offer much protection, and now she was covered in scratches, red raking up her legs and arms, trailing droplets of blood. “Shit...” She tried to move, but her attempt only caused some of the thorns to scratch her even more. A hiss of pain escaped her clenched teeth. Kylo saw her struggle, and sighed, before offering a hand. As he pulled her out, most of the thorns let go, making her whimper in pain. “Fuck... that hurts. Thanks though.” She slurred. Her head was spinning again, as she tried to keep her balance this time, still holding on to his arm.

Kylo studied her flushed face and sluggish movement. “Jesus, how drunk are you?” He pried. Rey looked at him and grinned “I don't know. I lost count at five...”.

Kylo raised his eyebrows. He knew how spiked that punch was, Hux made sure of that. She was definitely wasted. Her eyes were glazed over and she kept staring at nothing. He took the lead, back to the dorm. Her hand slipped from his arm, making her sway a bit, and she nearly fell again. This was going to prove to be difficult. Kylo quickly took her arm again and pulled it over his shoulders. He slipped his own arm around her waist to support her. Kylo could smell the heavy scent of liquor on her breath. Like this, they continued along the path. Rey breathed in the smell of the night, pine trees and soggy dirt, mixed in with the heady scent of the boy she leaned on. “Why did you help me?” She inquired suddenly. Kylo frowned, “because you were bleeding in a ditch...?” he retorted. “No, I meant before. You know what I mean,” she slurred.

Kylo stared blankly ahead. “your mind was like a fog horn. It was unbearable,” he stated. “Also, I went through it too.” He added after a while, looking straight ahead.

The trees thinned, making way for the campus lawn. Their co-ed dormitory building already visible.

“You can do other stuff too, right?” She asked quietly. He had never spoken of this. This was something very secret to him. There wasn't a particular reason he could come up with for keeping it that way, but it felt to him like something you shouldn't tell people. Just to be sure. Her just asking about it out of the blue took him aback. He didn't answer her.

“Can you teach me?” she pried.

“No.” He retorted.

They approached the double doors of the dorm, which he pushed open with his free arm. They continued up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, Rey slipped her arm from Kylo's shoulder and leaned over to sit on the stairs. She completely slouched. Kylo groaned in frustration “No no no... Get back up, come on, please.” Kylo reached over and pulled her up by her arms. Back to how Kylo was previously supporting the intoxicated Rey, they continued to her door. “Do you have your key?” he asked. She searched the pockets of her shorts, to find nothing. A sheepish look spread across her face as she looked at him. “You've got to be kidding me” he groaned. Not bothering to asses the situation any further, he dragged her along the rest of the hall, fished his own key out of his pocket and opened his dorm room. Kylo let go of her and she plopped down on the settee in his room.

The room remained dark, lit only by the glow of the outdoor lamp posts. Kylo didn't bother with turning on the lights as he grabbed the first aid kit on top of the kitchen shelf, along with a pair of scissors. Rey was fixated by the sheets of paper that littered the other side of the couch. I were the loose drawings he kept in his sketchbook, she had pulled them out, staring with wonder at them. “wow, these are amazing” she stated, quietly. He walked over to her, quickly taking them from her and putting them back on his desk. It must've come across as mean to her, but he was only embarrassed. These drawings weren't exactly wall art in his eyes. “Jeez, relax. They're cool.” She said. He crouched down in front of her, moving methodically to disinfect the many cuts on her legs. A simple disinfectant onto some cotton balls and then a few bandages. Every time Kylo made contact with her leg, she'd flinch, a jolt going through her shoulders. Her eyes were again fixated on the room she was in. Somehow, this was exactly what she was expecting of him. He had somehow made his dorm room look like one of those Ikea catalog pages that could be filed under “modern” and “minimal”. After he finished with her legs, he sat down next to her and took her arm. Suddenly she snapped out of her trance-like stated and pulled her arm back. “What are you doing.” she demanded, eyes glazed over. His eyes shot up at her, “You're bleeding, I have a first aid kit, and I'm _not_ drunk, isn't it obvious?” He quipped and took her arm again, this time meeting no resistance. She gazed intently at his hands as he worked, delicately dabbing the product on her cuts, then feeling the bandage and putting it on the wound. His hands felt warm on her cold arms. Suddenly her gaze became empty as she slouched slightly in the sofa. “I'm sorry,” she said. “For what?” He finished up and then let go of her arm.  
“For being such a bother. And you've been more than helpful,” she sighed. He returned her empty gaze, then broke eye contact, “Don't mention it” he said dryly.

A thought stumbled across Kylo's mind – Why am I helping her? Then again, she had no place to stay tonight, and she was blind drunk. Also, there were bound to be larger, stronger drunks on campus this night, with no modest intentions.  
Somehow, when she appeared his mind, it seemed to him like he'd known her for a long time. He had to remind himself that she saw him as a stranger. He of course thought of her as a stranger too, but he saw so much of himself in her. The things he had to deal with were hard to bear, and she was so much smaller.

  
“You can have the couch for tonight.” He said, as he offered her a blanket and a glass of water. Rey hazily accepted, pulling the blanket over herself.

Kylo shut the blinds, slumped on his own bed. It didn't take Rey long to drift off, already forgetting she wasn't in her own dorm room.

Her chest rose and fell softly as Kylo remained unable to sleep.  
He looked at her, slivers of light painted the peaceful expression on her face. Her mind was shut off from the world, the colors she projected muted and blurry, barely present.

He turned around and shut his eyes.

 

 

  


 

 

 

 


End file.
